The Knot, Part One

I'm going to take this in parts.  It's easier to unravel one thread at a time.

Things you should know about my current mood:

• Not the product of hormonal cycles.  I have two weeks until that.
• Not due to the weather.  Sun's out.
• Not due to money issues.  Yet.
• Not due to current events.

I have spent the weekend, and will probably continue to spend the coming week, trying to determine what causes it.  I do know this much:

• Whenever I walk away from the internet for entire days, the feeling abates.

And what is that feeling, you ask?

• Loneliness
• Hopelessness
• Uselessness
• Lack of ambition (on my part)
• Lack of creativity (on my part)

Why do I pick on the internet?  Because:

• My relationship with the Internet/Social Network feels like I'm married to a Yankee shortstop
• Said Spouse treats everyone else so well, and supports the kids (the "kids" here being my blogs) for free
• Everyone else loves the Spouse for the money they make, the sexy look they have, and the way they can do EVERYTHING
• Well, everything but create fulfillment.  

Why doesn't the Internet/Social Network bring me happiness?  After all, I explore all of the recommendations I get, I try all of the latest Network options, I follow all of the advice and check in at every interval possible.  I worship and completely support the Internet/Social Network.  Why do I feel like I'm one giant nervous tic, expecting my Virtual Spouse to fix "it?"  I don't even know what "it" is.

And why, when I walk away and think for a whole weekend, do I feel like I might be normal again?

Someone needs to get an amicable divorce.  I don't think counseling will work here.

Write on...while I call my lawyer.