I have a lot to say.
And probably not the tools to say it.
Anyway, here's the week, in review.
Women At Work
Spent last week dreading this week, because we had two training days where I was going to be so strapped for employees that I knew it was going to look like the two weeks in Concord--me and one other guy manning the counter. Tuesday and Friday were the hotspots--I knew that if I could pull those two days off then I could catch up later. Then I found out Tuesday that Monday would be the same way.
Okay.
Tuesday was survivable. And then Thursday, a day early, the wheels came off the bus. Unable to get caught up, I was back to filling in for the people who can't do their jobs for reasons that are unrelated to any health or human resource issues--they are just not hard workers. I could classify them as "fuckin' lazy," but what would that serve? So Thursday was not a catch up day but a lost day to doing someone else's work. I sent an instant message to my old manager asking her a question and she came back with "You okay?"
Never ask someone on the edge "You okay?" They'll lose it.
So that's how I ended up in the back of the warehouse in Oakland, the exhaust fans drowning out my fury, having my meltdown. After some time for that I went back to work for my employees, and then my manager walked out and said, "Did you hear? Another manager gave notice."
Meltdown number two. He asked me if I was okay. What is WITH these people? So close to clueless that the color of sky can't be determined.
I walked away from the task at hand and went into the office and worked there on whatever the fuck I wanted to. And then came one of the guys on the radio from the warehouse--"Something is smoking out here."
We put out that fire. During the exchange my brother left the following message on my voice mail.
"Hey, it's me...just wanted to let you know that Serena's mom passed away this morning. We're driving up tonight to Clovis..."
And that was September 11th.
Friday.
The morning started quiet...thank God. Then my boss came to me--taking a half day. There's someone I can't call for help now, I thought. Okay, think, Jo. What's the worst that can happen? After all, we had a fire Thursday. It cannot get worse than that. Right? Maybe an earthquake? Or the sewer lines backing up? Or someone bleeding profusely?
That's a lot of guns on the mantle, Chekov.
Still, we were okay for the moment. Then time to start lunches. I am finishing up my fat free chocolate yogurt and one of the export agents sticks her head in the breakroom.
"Um..."
Pick one of the guns. What would be the worst for you? Which one could you handle in a foreign city while you were worn out and miserable? Which one would be the next nightmare that just keeps coming true?
So I called the other customer service manager for Oakland, who is now in San Carlos. She was clueless as well, and our company has rules--only call pre-approved vendors to clean up the mess you're standing in. "There's a business card somewhere..." Half hour later I find the card. Then another half hour until the plumber calls me back and says the contractor knew the sewer lines were fucked up all along when he approved the opening of the business.
We've been open at that location since April 28th.
Powder keg.
And then the customers remember that we are here and open. Lots of them.
The plumber then informs me that he can't fix this issue--"the system needs jutted." He recommends someone who can. When that person doesn't call me back in 10 minutes then I start on Oakland and Alameda Roto-Rooter service calls. I call my manager. I text him. Nothing. Executive decision, then. "Yes," I tell the service person who shows up, "hang the expense. Do it. Whatever it takes." He can't find the drain valve and then looks me up and down and says, "You know, it was probably feminine products that did this."
This is "news" that you shouldn't tell the person who currently has her period for the second time this month for the first time in her life because of stress. "That's probably true to some extent, and I would believe you if the contractor hadn't told our plumber that he released this place with a clean bill of health even though he knew the sewer system was a mess."
Customers.
Shit.
And just about the time that the customers have died down a little and the service person is signed out and gone that my boss calls. "Everything okay?"
Drunken Ass-Kicking
So the last day for one of the managers jumping ship was Friday, so some of us went out for drinks. I drank quite a measure of tequila--enough that I spent the ride home on BART beating up FG on texts. This afternoon we fought on the phone some more, and then he had to go. I just wish he would give it up.
An Afternoon With Family
So MS drove back to San Diego this afternoon...Serena is staying a couple of weeks for arrangements and what's next. MS will go back next Thursday for the viewing and Friday for the funeral, and then he'll come back the following Monday and go back to Fresno the following Friday to spend another weekend there and pick her up to take back Monday. MS says she's doing really well...he's waiting for it to kick in.
It will.
But he distracted himself with a game between OSU (his alma mater) and USC happening this afternoon/evening. I spent the evening with him, so to speak, watching a sport that I don't understand but found strangely soothing tonight. Just after half-time they played a partial video from other OSU alumni, a group called O.A.R. (Of A Revolution). The name of the song was "Shattered," which has the following lyrics:
In a way, I need a change
From this burnout scene
Another time, another town
Another everything
But it's always back to you
Stumble out, in the night
From the pouring rain
Made the block, sat and thought
There's more I need
It's always back to you
But I'm good without ya
Yeah, I'm good without you
Yeah, yeah, yeah
How many times can I break till I shatter?
Over the line can't define what I'm after
I always turn the car around
Give me a break let me make my own pattern
All that it takes is some time but I'm shattered
I always turn the car around
I had no idea that the night
Would take so damn long
Took it out, on the street
While the rain still falls
Push me back to you
But I'm good without ya
Yeah, I'm good without you
Yeah, yeah, yeah
How many times can I break till I shatter?
Over the line can't define what I'm after
I always turn the car around
Give me a break let me make my own pattern
All that it takes is some time but I'm shattered
I always turn the car around
Give it up, give it up, baby
Give it up, give it up, now
Now
How many times can I break till I shatter?
Over the line can't define what I'm after
I always turn the car around
All that I feel is the realness I'm faking
Taking my time but it's time that I'm wasting
Always turn the car around
How many times can I break till I shatter?
Over the line can't define what I'm after
I always turn the car around
Don't wanna turn that car around
I gotta turn this thing around...
Yeah, mirror.
*****
There must be a plan made. I wish I had one. "Give me a break, let me make my own pattern...taking my time, but it's time that I'm wasting..."
Too high functioning, Jo beats the hell out of her for another night.
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