Monday, March 24, 2008

Her Royal Highness, Queen Jo

Discovered one very important fact about my flight to and from San Diego last week—my stomach, ears and I are spoiled brats when it comes to flying.

(I’m probably a spoiled brat in other areas according to other people, too, but that’s not the topic of discussion today, she writes, laughing.)

When I am back in coach among the pink neon running lights of Virgin Airways and wedged in the last row and in the last seat, I am nauseous the entire flight, wearing my seatbelt and half of the seatbelt of the guy next to me, and can’t put my seat back. The attendants don’t know I exist, and getting their attention would mean losing my precarious balance and throwing up, so I sit quiet and listen to the three songs that they have programmed in of Springsteen on the Red System in front of me over and over, all from the Magic album. They have lots of other artists on Red (the in-flight MP3, streaming video, and satellite movie system), but I put on Springsteen because he keeps me from throwing up at the moment. He is my mantra. Think Meg Ryan in French Kiss singing “Girls In Their Summer Clothes” instead of “I Love Paris in the Springtime.” Hey, it worked.

Heading back I couldn’t use the internet to print my ticket because the brother and sis-in-law don’t have internet, but I do the self-check-in at the airport, and low and behold I am offered one of two first class spaces available for $50 more. I had never flown first class before. I had $50 to splurge on myself, even though I’m sure any other puritanical American would have saved the money. This is my version of the California manicure. I spring for it. I’m awkward the whole time, but I can breathe and I eat a meal on board, free of charge of course because I’m in first class even if it’s only an hour and six minute flight. I watch the music video of Robert Plant and Alison Krauss doing “Gone, Gone, Gone” off of their collaberation “Raising Sand.” I read. I’m relaxed.

Not to sound like a hick on purpose, but WHERE IN GOD’S NAME HAS THIS BEEN ALL MY LIFE????

Don’t worry. I had the same reaction to the mountains the first time I saw them in New Mexico.

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