Monday, March 29, 2010

Patterns In the Chaos? Possible?

God, I hope so.

Right now, my life is run by a collection of people. This collection of people doesn't talk to each other much, even though they all belong to the same organization, so it's sort of like having an out-of-synch Greek chorus, all yelling their own lyrics, in their own time.

I'm not really a manager. I'm managed. Time management is no longer possible. And I'm imploding.

Which means I'm probably about less than a week from a monumentally dumb decision. I'm already making small ones, just to show that I still can decide something, that I'm still in charge of something. I make dumb decisions about my health, my work, my limits...and the next step that usually happens is that I do something really dumb, like sleep with the wrong person, buy an item I can't afford and don't need, or...

Break a bone.

By the way, the number of people in my Greek chorus is 23. All with their own agenda. And they outnumber the amount of people in my support system. By quite a large count.

Time to decide what's important and tell the Greek chorus to go smoke a muse. And less of what's important and more of WHO is.

Like me. Before I lose me.

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