Onay Eakspay Ishenglay

I've been caught between two worlds all week--offending/boring the locals, offending/boring visitors, and am at the brink, by this time in the week, to open my mouth. The only person I haven't pissed off this week thus far, with proof, is my brother. He's just confused. "You sound normal," he says, without me asking. "You sound a whole lot more normal than Bob." I think fondly to my "nephew cat" Bob and smile. Bob is unoffensibly normal. Ain't no one gonna hate that sweet thing.

I don't know who I am or what I'm doing or saying this week, and it feels as though everything coming out of my mouth is verbal shit, so maybe I am a little scared of being around people at the moment. But here's what I know for sure, to steal from Oprah:

• I had a good week with a visitor. I miss her.
• Harry Potter is starting to be soothing.
• Getting my hair cut short feels good when I can't have unhealthy addictions.
• The ocean is quietly beautiful.
• "The Hurricane" is a good movie.
• I love cold weather.
• I love tea.
• Tart to Tart makes a delicious vanilla cream muffin.
• John Mayer is an excellent lyricist.

That's a good start. I should be able to say that without blowing up the building...

Let's hope so.