Thursday, February 28, 2008

The Love List

In a recent issue of O Magazine, there appeared an article called “The Love List.” The article was actually a memoir of an older woman who had given up on love and had been instructed by a psychic to list 100 things about the man of her dreams and then turn the list loose to the universe for answering.

This past week my therapist gave me the article as homework, and here is what I came up with. Please keep in mind that this list is complete and that if I offend anyone with anything on it I apologize, but it’s staying.

1. Tall
2. Broad-shouldered
3. Men’s hands
4. Healthy libido
5. Intelligence without condescension
6. Physically fit, but not necessarily ripped
7. Loves to read
8. Loves to read out loud to me
9. Is eclectic
10. Loves to cook
11. Can do laundry better than I can
12. Loves outdoor sports
13. Loves language
14. Loves kids (not monsters, but kids)
15. Loves cats
16. Loves dogs
17. Appreciates architecture
18. Appreciates all music
19. Appreciates baseball (not one particular team)
20. Appreciates hockey
21. Possesses a constant eagerness to learn
22. Can’t keep his hands off me
23. Can’t wait to hear what I think about anything
24. Can be a Republican or a Democrat
25. Will sing karoke if prompted
26. Is open-minded
27. Isn’t wishy-washy
28. Treats me with respect
29. Calls me when he says he will
30. Calls me even if he hasn’t said he will, just to hear my voice
31. Is a lover, not a fighter
32. Knows how to treat a woman during sex
33. Isn’t glued to the television
34. Never whines
35. Volunteers
36. Is a GREAT kisser
37. Knows how to play chess
38. Doesn’t mind if I can’t play chess well
39. Loves my brother as a friend and loves to hang out with him
40. Holds the door open for me
41. Lifts things for me
42. Consults me onwhat I want from the menu and orders it for me
43. Buys me daffodils
44. Works well with his hands
45. Kills the spiders for me
46. Carries the heavy stuff when we get groceries
47. Loves good cinema—and will even endure the chick flicks for my sake
48. Loves to travel
49. Feels comfortable in any clothing
50. Wants to read my writing
51. Likes to hear me sing
52. Listens to NPR
53. Listens to me
54. Understands me, even if we disagree
55. Improves me without trying to change me
56. Lets me love him
57. Handles someone else’s sickness well
58. Understands if I don’t want sex sometimes but loves it when I do
59. Loves the whole country, not just the big cities or pretty parts
60. Understands/embraces my love of Springsteen
61. Flies kites
62. Has a great sense of humor
63. Can make me laugh
64. Looks forward to life
65. Knows what gifts to give me
66. Has a healthy relationship with his family
67. Wants a small wedding
68. Drinks on occasion, but not to excess
69. Would rather have me than be right
70. Loves my body
71. Takes care of his body
72. Knows that to really turn me on, he needs to read me poetry
73. Likes his steak still pink in the middle
74. Doesn’t make excuses
75. Is patient
76. Has a great laugh
77. Played a musical instrument once, even if he doesn’t now
78. Loves to explore his own backyard
79. Was born and raised east of here
80. Is a good driver
81. Watches PBS
82. Has a favorite children’s story
83. Will make a fool of himself for love
84. Smells great, without knocking me over
85. Doesn’t complain about having to use a condom
86. Doesn’t smoke or chew
87. Can keep up with me on walks or hikes
88. Can push me physically on walks or hikes
89. Knows when to slow down and when to work fast
90. Never talks to someone else on his cell phone while we’re doing something together
91. Gets old movie and old music references
92. Is smart with English language and its idioms
93. Doesn’t say things just to raise my blood pressure because he thinks it’s funny
94. Spoons
95. Stays the night (or longer)
96. Drinks coffee
97. Enjoys small pleasures in unexpected places
98. An optimist
99. Flosses
100. Independent, but not aloof (has passions besides me but not instead of me)

And therein lies the list. I’m supposed to turn it loose to the universe now for the asking and see how much comes back to me.

It doesn’t have to be complete. But some of that stuff would be a nice change. I now open up the floor for comments on how unrealistic this is.

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